10 Completely Made Up Cat Proverbs

When I first began exploring cat proverbs for a previous article on My top 10 cat proverbs, I spent hours searching for traditional sayings that truly captured the essence of cats. I found some really good ones, but I still couldn’t help feeling that there just aren’t enough of them! Cats have such rich personalities — aloof yet affectionate, regal but at times ridiculous — that surely we’ve only just scratched the surface (pun intended) of the proverbs they deserve.

So I decided to write some new ones! As a pet portrait artist (and cat owner), I’ve spent a lot of time watching cats, drawing cats, and being scrutinised by cats. Here then, are ten original cat proverbs inspired by all of that — straight from the top of the fridge (see my made up proverb number 4!)

1. To pet a cat is a gift. To be ignored by one is an education.

Whatever you do for a cat, it always seems like it’s doing you a kindness and we feel privileged to be doing it! As for the second half of this made up cat proverb, I remember a time when we came back from holiday recently. Our cat Titus turned his back on my Dad, giving him a moment to reflect on his poor decision to take us all away from him for so long.

2. A cat’s silence speaks louder than a dog’s bark.

Some teachers shout to get a class in order but the ones with real presence do it without saying a word. Cats are like that teacher who waits at the front of the room until everyone suddenly feels it and silently shrinks into their seat.  

3. A warm lap is worth more than a golden throne.

Some cats love laps and leap up unbidden. Others, like mine, need a little coaxing and snacks. Eventually, though, it deigns to reign there for a time before leaping off as if utterly offended by some small misdemeanour.

4. From the top of the fridge, the cat ponders our inferiority.

Cats are kings of whatever castle they can find and love to look down at their loyal subjects, fetching food for them below. My cat even has a little house on top of the fridge where he can keep watch over his kingdom in warmth.  

5. A door closed is an insult; a door opened is an invitation to ignore.

My cat will sit by the utility room door with life long determination, but when it’s opened he won’t go through. We have to enter first and prepare his food before he will commit to crossing the threshold.

6. A cat’s duty is to climb high. Ours is to bring it down.

As a kitten, Titus once climbed onto a roof and couldn’t get down. My dad had to throw a rug onto the tiles from the upstairs window so his claws had something to grip on as he came down.

7. A twitching tail is a ticking timebomb.

Cat’s have high standards and are easily irritated. If something is out of place they let you know with the minimum of effort. Like a powerful ruler waving a subject away with a waft of the hand.   

8. A fluffy belly is a fierce booby-trap

When my cat rolls over and shows his tummy it looks inviting, but it’s actually a kill zone. Its front paws hold its prey while the back legs rake its flesh to the bone. We already have expressions like “honey trap” and “poison chalice” but I think there is room for a cat-based proverbial encapsulation of this wise warning.   

9. In a cat’s stare lies the judgment of ages.

A dog stares at its master with submissive entreaty, but a cat’s stare is an accusing command. A dog looks to its owner to see if it’s been ‘a good boy’, while a cat appraises the performance of its staff.

10. The quickest way to lose a cat is to call it.

Research has shown that cats do recognise their name (and yours!). It’s just that most of the time they don’t care to come when its called. Unless you make it worth their while of course.

Releasing them into the wild!

There is so much that cats can teach us about confidence, dignity, resting, and ruling. They’ll never write proverbs themselves (far too busy napping and overseeing), but it’s fun to imagine what they’d say if they did. When I Google “cat proverbs” my original article is the first one listed! Now I’ve released some new ones into the wild, it will be interesting to see if this post does as well, and how many of my made up cat proverbs enter into common parlance.